Now you see me
by epsinger
Summary: **Spoilers for The Last Jedi! I was inspired by the subversive storytelling in this movie and wanted to explore the characters of Kylo Ren and Rey more fully during the scene directly following their confrontation with Snoke. Not sure if there will be more chapters, I just sat down and had to write something. Comments welcome - newbie writer here!


His hand hovered in front of her as his last words reverberated into nothingness. _Join me_ … The moment seemed to drag on for hours as the dark-cloaked figure in front of Rey began to blur. She blinked with surprise as tears rolled down her cheeks and his face came into focus once more. The gloved hand trembling between them seemed foreign and cold, and she squeezed her eyes shut trying to remember the feeling of hope that had flooded through her when they touched hands for the first time. She longed to feel that surge of warmth and comfort again, and her clammy fingers began to rise from their place at her side. Her eyes darted to his as she tried to search for something, anything to help make this choice easier. What she saw almost ripped her heart in two – a scared boy, searching for belonging and love in a universe that has chosen to hate him and banished him to the darkness long ago. She pushed further in to his mind, and found little resistance behind those conflicted eyes. Suddenly her feet were slipping and the ground gave way beneath her, and she was spinning and spinning…

A young man kneeled before her, facing a dais that rose out of sight and held a blurred person, no, was it a creature? Her mind was cloudy, and the only thing that seemed clear was the figure bent in submission at the bottom of the tall steps. She walked around to see who it was, and her breath caught when she realized it was Kylo Ren, holding a knife to his hand and bowing before something. No, someone? A voice boomed in her mind, sending a chill of dread down her spine.

 _My young apprentice, you must give of your blood and commit fully to the darkness within your soul. Cut deep and become one with the force – do not hesitate! NOW!_

She faced the dais and screamed at the source of Snoke's gnarled, evil voice, but nobody could hear her plea. Kylo's hand bled profusely as he cut and pledged himself to Snoke's bidding. _Good,_ she heard his master snarl. The scene was fading away from her, and Kylo looked up with disgust and fear as she tried to yell for him to stop, that she could save him.

Her vision swirled and she fell into another time and place. She was standing aboard the Millennium Falcon, and her heart leapt as Han Solo strode towards her with Chewie at his side. Her hand raised to greet him, but he walked through her towards the exit ramp. _No_ , _please don't leave me_ , she thought to herself as her heart sank to her stomach. "Please don't go!"But he could not hear her. She was yet again trapped in a memory of days gone by. She couldn't change anything; she was powerless.

 _I'll be back soon, son!_ She heard Han's voice yell from the door of the Falcon. She glanced around the corner and saw a child of about 10 or so standing on the ramp, looking up at Han with a tragic mixture of love and sadness. _No you won't, you always say that! I want to come with you, dad. Please, I want to learn!_ Han awkwardly fiddled with his belt and finally pulled out a red string from his pocket. _Uh, here. This is for you, Ben._ He wrapped the string around Ben's wrist and tied it with a flair. _It's something your mother once gave to me before I left for an adventure, back before you were born. She said it would bring me back to her and guide me home. Sounds like a bunch of hocus pocus to me, but…_ he sighed and shook his head. _I can't teach you what you need to know, Ben. Your uncle Luke can help you, so please be good to him and the other kids there, won't ya? I'll visit soon, but I have lots of stuff to do now, bud. Chewie and me, we have a galaxy to save, isn't that right?_

Chewie roared and the boy walked back down to the ground, staring at his wrist. _See ya on the flip side, kiddo._ Han looked down at him and started to close the door. He looked away and walked to the cockpit, not realizing that his son was holding back tears. Rey tried to tell him not to leave, but she could only look down from within the Falcon at the boy's contorted face. He was trying to be brave and strong, but tears stung his red eyes and he fell to his knees as the door fully closed on his small silhouette against the starry lights of the resistance base.

Rey's mind swirled again and she fell through the Falcon's floor into the night. Cold air seemed to rush into her lungs as her vision re-focused on the boy's now scarred face, his hand still outstretched to her in the ruins of Snoke's throne room. "Ben," she croaked as a fresh wave of sadness and loss washed over her. They were the same. They could have switched fates and ended up at opposite ends of this plea, this dance of masks and gloves and tears. _But we are not the same_ , a voice echoed in her mind. _We took different paths from that loneliness. I chose the light and he chose the dark. I cannot undo what he's done to innocent people or what Snoke did to him… but he needs me_.

His fierce gaze searched her face for a clue into her intentions. He sensed her desire for power and belonging – it burned clearer than the light of day. But her hesitation was more muddled. _Why does she continue to deny her fate? Our connection must mean something…_ he faltered and began to doubt why she came to him after all. Was it her selfish need to fix something that's broken, or did she actually care about him?

 _No, nobody cares about you, you are alone and stronger because of it. Don't give into the temptation, it's just a trick._ His self-loathing and stoic independence had been the mantras of his training for years. _Don't throw it all away, we've worked so hard._ The voice invaded his consciousness so easily. But he realized with a jolt that Snoke was dead now.

He can choose his own path. He is free from his past.

Her hand reaches closer and closer, but her mind remains closed to him; her intentions are masked though her eyes bore into his.

"Take off your glove, Ben," her raw, commanding voice startles him out of his thoughts.

 _She thinks she can save me._

His covered hands meet and he rips off the layer, revealing his true form.

 _Human and weak_.

She takes a breath and moves towards him, determination in her eyes. She reaches out and clasps his hand between both of her own. The warmth and fire of her touch is shocking, and Kylo gasps for air as they both sink to the floor. At first he thinks he's seeing another vision just like he had when they touched hands through their force connection weeks before. But he looks into Rey's eyes and realizes that she is opening her mind and allowing him to experience her own hopes and dreams that had been forged in that moment.

Embarrassment creeps into his chest as he watches Rey's version of Kylo wrapped tightly in her arms, swearing that he would ascend from the darkness and join her. _Rey, you were right,_ the ethereal form that resembles his own image rings in their minds. _I will join you and leave the past behind me. You'll never be lonely again, I promise._

But something isn't right. Rey's vision portrays him differently. He seems softer, _weak_ , a voice whispered in his mind.

"That's not me, Rey, you're wrong!" The vision fades and her determined face stares directly into his, not wavering for a moment.

"No, Ben. I saw this, it must be true. You will turn to the light! Please, you can come with me now. You don't have to be afraid anymore. I saw you as a boy and as a young man when you opened your mind to me. Snoke corrupted you and you can break free now that he's gone, I know it."

But Kylo's face turns hard and angry. His eyes glaze over and he doesn't look anything like the Ben Solo she wants him to be. He rips away his hand and stands up, towering over her kneeling form. "You don't know me, Rey. That man in your vision is not me and I can't be someone that I'm not. You should hate me!" _She does hate you_ , the voice hissed. He swung around, looking for the source.

"Ben, what's going on?" Her voice is tense, muscles ready to spring into action. "Please, come with me. I know who you are, and I want to help you. I…" She steps towards him and lays a strong hand on his chest, but the black armor surrounding him is far too thick for her to feel anything beneath it. _I care about you, Ben. Please, can't you feel it, too?_

She feels more vulnerable than ever before, and she still can't speak her feelings out loud. But she is beginning to accept them and latches onto the renewed hope in his eyes. His heart skips a beat as he looks down at her, and he gently puts his hand over hers. But his grip becomes iron and his eyes turn cold as she continues to gaze up with warmth and desire.

 _Nobody could ever love you. Resist this, it's a trap!_ "Get out of my head!" Kylo bellows out with frustration.

She wrenches free and steps back, suddenly unsure of why she came here. He tears at his hair and growls with building anger. "You don't know me. I am Kylo Ren, and I will fulfill the destiny started by my grandfather. You can't tempt me with empty promises and expect me to fall into your trap, girl."

He regards her with loathing and pain in his eyes, and she recoils from his gaze, which cuts deeper than any physical weapon. _Weapon,_ her mind whispers. She glances down at the fallen lightsaber near his feet, willing her mind to work quickly. Kylo notices her shift in attention too late, and he lashes his arm out to stop her from snatching the saber. They both scream with the effort of force-pulling the weapon, but it remains perfectly suspended between them almost as if it cannot not pick sides _._

 _I don't want to hurt you, Ben, but the resistance needs me more than you do._ _I'm sorry._ She doesn't want to admit this to him, so keeps her thoughts private within the cage of her skull. Protected and safe. Fresh tears roll down her cheeks and her heart fills with conflict and loss.

 _I know_ , a low, sad voice echoes through her mind. _I do feel it, Rey. S_ he looks up from the saber into Ben's dark eyes and understands with undeniable clarity that the voice is his. Their bodies and minds strain to gain control over the saber, or are they trying desperately to bend each other with the force as well?

The saber hilt screeches and groans under the growing pressure, and both young force-wielders sense that their own victory is near. One last burst of energy from them wrenches the weapon into two equal halves. _No!_ Two voices bark with frustration inside Rey's head. As darkness closes in around her, she could have sworn she heard a third voice. But she cannot fight the numbness in her limbs and the pure exhaustion in her mind. She spent all of her energy trying to win the saber, and the blackness seems to go on forever, encasing her in its cold embrace.


End file.
